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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?